How many of you can relate to this scenario?
You: Hi! How was your day at school?
Student: Fine.
You: Did you do anything new?
Student: Yeah.
You: Like what?
Student: I don’t know…stuff (tuning out of conversation and in to electronic device).
Sound familiar? This exact scenario plays out again and again in households across the country, with parents and caregivers pressing school-age kids for details about their lives. Many of us struggle with the challenges of getting kids—especially high school students—to open up about their thoughts and experiences.
How is it that high school students can chat endlessly about a favorite television show or what’s going on with their favorite band or celebrity, but getting a teenager to open up about something that really matters, like developments at school, is not so easy? Plus, as much as we want to know everything, we also want to respect their privacy and not seem overbearing, nosy and especially uncool!
There has to be a balance, and whether you are a Local Coordinator, host parent or both, you might appreciate some suggestions to help get students opening up and talking about what goes on in their day.
In a recent article on Edutopia.org, Elena Aguilar suggests 15 questions to get kids talking about their day instead of, “How was school today?” To build toward a daily habit of having real conversations with the kids we care about, she suggests picking a suitable time and place—and to try only one or two dialog starters at a time, so as not to bombard them. Here are the examples she provided to get the conversations started:
- Tell me about a moment today when you felt excited about what you were learning.
- Tell me about a moment in class when you felt confused.
- Think about what you learned and did in school today. What’s something you’d like to know more about? What’s a question you have that came from your learning today?
- Were there any moments today when you felt worried? When you felt scared?
- Were there any times today when you felt disrespected by anyone? Tell me about those moments.
- Were there times today when you felt that one of your classmates demonstrated care for you?
- Were there any moments today when you felt proud of yourself?
- Tell me about a conversation you had with a classmate or friend that you enjoyed.
- What was challenging about your day?
- What do you appreciate about your day?
- What did you learn about yourself today?
- Is there anything that you’d like to talk about that I might be able to help you figure out?
- Is there anything you’re worried about?
- What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
- Is there a question you wish I’d ask you about your day?
Additionally, Aguilar provides some great suggestions that you can read for following up on these prompts and extending conversations for meaningful engagement.
It’s great to try these techniques to communicate in fun and heartfelt ways to help get to know and understand our students a little better each day. By pinpointing a specific moment, feeling or aspect of the day, structured guidelines and routine may make it easier for kids to respond and interact. Hopefully, this approach helps open the door to great conversations to hear from students about what really influences and matters to them—good and bad—and opportunities to show support and share a bit of what matters to you.
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